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Picture - Free Cat
13 April 2008Any takers?
Popularity: 48% [?]
A 1950s Guide To Womanhood
9 April 2008This is actual text from a Home Economics guide used in Ontario,
Canada during the 1950’s. The segment is titled:
“THE FASCINATING WOMANHOOD WAY TO WELCOME A MAN WHEN HE COMES HOME
FROM WORK”
GET YOUR WORK DONE: Plan your tasks with an eye of the clock.
Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your
anguished cry, “Are you home already?” is not exactly a warm
welcome.
HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before to have a
delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that
you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good
meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed
when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead
of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive
and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are
resting you can be thinking about your F.W. assignment and all you
can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you
arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a
ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a
lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more
interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER: Make one last trip through the main part of
the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school
books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in
the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dustcloth over the
tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and
order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order
is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned
for this homecoming.
PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Take just a few minutes to wash the children’s
hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary
change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like
to see them look the part.
MINIMIZE ALL NOISE: Especially give heed to this if your husband
has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate
noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the
children to be quiet at the time of their father’s arrival. Let
them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.
BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM: Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to
see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make
his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs
it now.
SOME DON’TS: Don’t greet him with problems and complaints. Solve
the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must
discuss with him until later in the evening. Also, don’t complain
if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when
compared with what he might have gone through that day. Don’t
allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow
them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.
MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Have him lean back into a comfortable chair
or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink
ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck
and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don’t insist on this
however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a
soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.
LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the
moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he
will be a more responsive listener later.
MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out
to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to
understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home
and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back.
Again, try to understand his world of strain.
THE GOAL: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where
your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to
this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood
and your husband **will want to come home** (that’s in italics) He
will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will
spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all
of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is
the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure,
persuasion or moral obligation.
Popularity: 42% [?]
Picture - Channel 42 is Really Mean
6 April 2008At least they’re honest.
Popularity: 47% [?]
Picture - Nine and Five IS Thirteen
30 March 2008Quit arguing and learn!
Popularity: 36% [?]
Video - Turn $1 into $100
9 March 2008You will stun your friends with this one, I promise!
Most Amazing Magic Trick! Turn $1 Into $100! - Funny blooper videos are here
Popularity: 40% [?]
Video - Amazing Car Battery Hack
1 March 2008Share This
Popularity: 35% [?]
Rejected Brand Names
29 February 2008Companies spend billions of dollars to come up with good names. These, however, weren’t worth the paper they were printed on.
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Cletus-Bilt – Apparently Cletus doesn’t have as good a reputation as Troy does.
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Traitor Joe’s – For those of us that don’t feel like following the rules.
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Never Save – Truth in advertising, didn’t go over too well with marketing.
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OJ’s Choice – Now that OJ is in the news again, he’s decided to endorse some crap.
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SuckIt – A vacuum with a few extra attachments, didn’t go over too well with the housewives.
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4,000,000,009 – This stuff took a lot of R&D.
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Crappios – They look like cheerios but taste just like crap.
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Nature’s Laxative – Also known a prunes.
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Death Valley – Because all the other valleys were taken.
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PP gas – You may ask what sort of additive they put in their gas, well don’t.
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NeverStart – This battery is guaranteed to always let you down.
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Box & Bucket – They sell really cheap furniture.
Popularity: 36% [?]
You Know You’re in Wyoming If
27 February 2008Wyoming: Where Wind Is Faster Than Your Truck
You Know You’re in Wyoming:
If you own more than four pair of gloves.
If every other vehicle is a 4X4.
If camping is allowed only in steel sided campers.
If, when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.
If in March your vehicle is 43% mud.
If you leave your keys in your car, and the next morning your car is still there.
If you installed your new computer using a leatherman tool.
If wolves are naturally free and house cats are on a leash.
If you tell an obscene joke and nobody laughs.
If you hear the words “stream” or “brook” pronounced “crick”.
If the elevation usually exceeds the population.
If Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 9:00.
If the jug of milk on your porch is frozen.
If you’re on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and somebody stops to help you.
If you can pay for six Big Macs with a personal check.
If drive by shootings only occur on the evening news.
If there’s a bison in your lane.
If your central heating system is fueld by large logs.
If you see numerous chauffeur-driven dogs.
If you can see the stars at night.
If your child can’t locate any insects for show and tell.
If people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall.
If your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.
If a deer throws itself under your wheels.
If you got a set of new snow tires for Valentines day.
If your minister shows up Sunday morning wearing Carhartt bib overalls.
If more than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is Elk.
If the term “chill factor” is part of your daily vocabulary.
If the bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
If you only paid 5$ to cut down your own douglas fir Christmas tree.
If your back yard smells like sage brush.
If you put on a pair of Pacs to get the morning paper.
If you enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
If a girls basketball game fills the school gym.
If you put the car heater on your list of best friends.
If you pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs.
If you slept through the night unawakend by a siren.
and if a rodeo is more popular than Madonna . . .
. . . then you’re in Wyoming.
Share ThisPopularity: 28% [?]
Video - Discriminav
26 February 2008Share This
Popularity: 25% [?]
Picture - Using Images from Your Site
24 February 2008
Popularity: 25% [?]
The Oracle Ponders Computers
20 February 2008The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
“Do you have a hard drive?”
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
I was hanging out in a SCSI bar. A loud bandwidth played in the corner.
I gave the place a binary search. I saw a little chip in the corner. She SIMMed like a pro. I traversed over to her.
She pressed her Apples against me. “Hey, Mac, do you have a hard drive?”
“No, only a floppy,” I replied.
“Well, then you need an Amiga,” she sed.
“Vi?”
“Well, if I was your Amiga, we could interface.”
We went to a motel. We took a bus.
The motel was SCSI-2. It needed to be debugged.
“So, how much is this going to cost me?” I queried.
She added it up right away. She had a mind like a…like a…. She could add really fast.
She stripped her binaries. It was quite a procedure.
“I’m going to turn your software into hardware,” she transmitted.
She started to spreadsheet.
“So, are you ready to RAM?” she called.
I had been auditing everything. I sent a signal. It was time for the trap.
All the agents burst through the gateway. My manager was with them.
“Awk! It’s a RAID!” she sed.
“Don’t arrest me! I’m a motherboard! How will I explain this to my Sun?”
The agents were not responding. They got ready to stop her process.
She was getting desperate. “Hey, I could do a favor for all of you. I’m fully multitasking.”
It didn’t work. We’re all UNIX.
Share ThisPopularity: 25% [?]
Picture - Best Beer Ad Ever
17 February 2008
Popularity: 25% [?]
