Employee Memo: New Restroom Policy
14 September 2007TO: All Employees
Effective January 1
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the bathroom at their own discretion. Due to the abuse of this lenient policy, a new policy is will be instituted, effective January 1st. This new policy will provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensure the equal treatment of all employees.
Under this policy, a 'Restroom Trip Bank' will be established. On the first business day of each month, 25 trip credits will be added to the employee's account. Rollover will be allowed from month-to-month. Each visit to the restroom will cost one credit.
Employees will also be allowed to trade RTCs. Compensation will be agreed upon between the two parties before hand. RTC trading is to be carried out at Human Resources. There the receiving party must fill out the “Restroom Trip Credit Trade Request” form in triplicate. Once signed by both parties the form is submitted to the Human Resources Manager for approval.
By December 15th, all restrooms will be equipped with a employee identification stations. The stations will be operational but not restrictive until January 1st. The stations will use three factor authentication. Employees will be required to swipe their ID card, scan their right or left hand, and provide a verbal passphrase. All employees must report to Human Resources by December 23rd to have both hands scanned, provide a normal sample of their verbal passphrase, and one sample under stress. The stations will not be restrictive during the month of December, employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during this period.
If an employee's RTC balance is at zero, the doors to any restroom will not unlock for that employee until the first day of the following month.
In addition to the Identification stations, all restroom will be equipped with a timed paper roll retractor. If the Restroom is occupied for more that three minutes, an alarm tone will sound throughout the entire buildings intercom. Immediately afterward our new advanced voice synthesis system will announce the name of the delinquent employee and his or her department. Ten seconds later the bathroom tissue roll will retract, the toilet will flush, and the restroom cameras will turn on. The cameras will be linked to screens outside of the restroom door as well as screens in payroll and the employee's supervisor's office.
Your cooperation on this matter will be appreciated. If you have any questions about the new policy, feel free to ask your supervisor.
Thank You!
Management.
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