Doctor Humor - Part 3
7 November 2007If it is dry – add moist, if it is moist – add dryness. Congratulations, you are now a dermatologist.
Things you don’t want to head during surgery.
“Oops!”
“Has anyone seen my watch?”
“That was some party last night, I can’t remember when I’ve been that drunk!”
“Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing.”
“OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is a real freak of nature.”
“Better save that, we’ll need it for the autopsy.”
“Come back with that! Bad dog!”
“Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
“Hand me that…uh…that…thingie.”
“Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”
“Damn, there go the lights again…”
“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, this guy’s got two of them.”
“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens.”
“Could you stop that damn thing from beating, it’s throwing off my concentration.”
“I wish I hadn’t forgot my glasses.”
“Well folks, this will an experiment for all of us.”
“Sterile, schmerile, the floor’s clean right?”
“What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?”
“This patient has already hade some kid, right?”
“Nurse, did this patient sign his organ donor card?”
“Don’t worry, I think it’s sharp enough.”
“What do you mean, you want a divorce?”
“FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!”
A CONCISE HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
“Doctor, I have an earache.”
2000 B.C. - “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. - “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. - “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. - “That potion is snake oil, swalow this pill.”
1985 A.D. - “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. - “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
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