Archive for 'Funny Stuff'
Star Wars Toys Which Failed Miserably
30 January 2008“Luke in Bactine Tank” A favorite scene from “Empire” recreated in miniature, complete with a removable diaper for Luke. Unfortunately, it was found that the glowing bactine wash posed a radioactive health hazard for tykes.
“Missile Hand Luke” Luke doll with a special lever on his back which causes his artificial hand to […]
Popularity: 20% [?]
Apparently They Couldn’t Predict the Future Either
23 January 2008 “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
“I think there’s a world market for about five computers.” Thomas J Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM.
“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
“This […]
Popularity: 19% [?]
The New Priest
16 January 2008A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start […]
Popularity: 17% [?]
QUOTES ON LOVE 2
9 January 2008“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.”
- Tom Clancy
Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address
- Matt Groening
“I said to my girl, ‘Was it good for you too?’ And she said, ‘I don’t think this […]
Popularity: 15% [?]
QUOTES ON LOVE 1
2 January 2008“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.”
- Rita Rudner
“Never date a woman you can hear ticking.”
- Mark Patinkin
“You’ll NEED someone to love while you’re looking for someone TO love.”
- Selagh Delaney
“The only way to get […]
Popularity: 16% [?]
How To Win An Argument
26 December 2007I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow […]
Popularity: 16% [?]
The Female Stages Of Life
19 December 2007Also see the first post: The Male Stages of Life.
AGE DRINK
17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - […]
Popularity: 16% [?]
The Male Stages Of Life
12 December 2007AGE DRINK
17 - beer
25 - bourbon
35 - vodka
48 - double vodka
66 - Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 - […]
Popularity: 20% [?]
Morning Wood
5 December 2007COPIED FROM A NEWS GROUP POSTING (the male author was responding to a woman who accidentally walked into the men’s restroom):
Please don’t feel bad. It wasn’t you entering the men’s washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It’s rare for us guys […]
Popularity: 19% [?]
The Poopie List
28 November 2007Bathroom Humor at its finest:
Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet […]
Popularity: 19% [?]
Computer Glossary
21 November 2007Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for “doesn’t work.”
Beta: Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”
Computer: Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger “Duffy” Billingsly, a British scientist. […]
Popularity: 17% [?]
THE PEEPEE LIST
14 November 2007Next time you go to the public toilets you may observe one of the following types of vistors:
Excitable Type
Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
Sociable Type
Joins pals for a piss whether he needs one or not.
Timid Type […]
Popularity: 17% [?]
