Archive for 'Funny Stuff'
You might live in St. Louis if…
24 July 2008Popularity: 9% [?]
Conundrums 3
14 May 2008Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the […]
Popularity: 26% [?]
Conundrums 2
7 May 2008When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when […]
Popularity: 28% [?]
Conundrums 1
30 April 2008If you try to fail, but you succeed, which have you done?
If a turtle loses it’s shell, is it naked or homeless?
If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
If nothing sticks to teflon, then how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
If fire fighters fight fires, and crime fighters fight crime, what […]
Popularity: 31% [?]
Chinese Proverbs
23 April 2008Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like tiny bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man with one chopstick go […]
Popularity: 31% [?]
Annoy The People In The Next Bathroom Stall
16 April 2008Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a melon into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
Fill up a large flask with Lucozade. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, “Whoa! Easy big boy!”
Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the […]
Popularity: 33% [?]
A 1950s Guide To Womanhood
9 April 2008This is actual text from a Home Economics guide used in Ontario,
Canada during the 1950’s. The segment is titled:
“THE FASCINATING WOMANHOOD WAY TO WELCOME A MAN WHEN HE COMES HOME
FROM WORK”
GET YOUR WORK DONE: Plan your tasks with an eye of the clock.
Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your
anguished cry, […]
Popularity: 37% [?]
You Know You’re in Wyoming If
27 February 2008 Wyoming: Where Wind Is Faster Than Your Truck
You Know You’re in Wyoming:
If you own more than four pair of gloves.
If every other vehicle is a 4X4.
If camping is allowed only in steel sided campers.
If, when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.
If in March your vehicle is 43% mud.
If you […]
Popularity: 29% [?]
The Oracle Ponders Computers
20 February 2008The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
“Do you have a hard drive?”
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
I was hanging out in a SCSI bar. A loud bandwidth played in the corner.
I gave the place a binary search. I saw a little chip in the corner. She SIMMed like a […]
Popularity: 25% [?]
A Very Useful Tool
13 February 2008 This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 7 inches long. The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
[…]
Popularity: 26% [?]
Redneck Sayings
6 February 2008He’s all hat and no cattle.
If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.
It’s so dry, the catfish are carrying canteens.
He’s so busy, you’d think he was twins.
He’ll squeeze a nickel till Jefferson screams.
So dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
Cold as a cast-iron commode.
She’s two sandwiches short of a picnic.
So ugly, she has to sneak […]
Popularity: 39% [?]
Star Wars Toys Which Failed Miserably
30 January 2008“Luke in Bactine Tank” A favorite scene from “Empire” recreated in miniature, complete with a removable diaper for Luke. Unfortunately, it was found that the glowing bactine wash posed a radioactive health hazard for tykes.
“Missile Hand Luke” Luke doll with a special lever on his back which causes his artificial hand to […]
Popularity: 22% [?]
