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Police Slog Through 40,000 Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
18 June 2009
Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
A Parody of 15 Corporate Logos
10 May 2009Found at Business Pundit
We know how we entered into the crisis, but we don’t how, when, or how we will be getting out of it. Considering that issue, we decided to our little bit to help cheer everyone up by redoing the logos of some renowned companies …. after the crisis.
Video - Speeding Ticket
21 March 2009Video - Firetruck Collision
14 March 2009Conundrums 3
27 February 2009Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Conundrums 2
20 February 2009When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment,
but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
What would Geramino say if he jumped out of an airplane?
Conundrums 1
13 February 2009If you try to fail, but you succeed, which have you done?
If a turtle loses it’s shell, is it naked or homeless?
If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
If nothing sticks to teflon, then how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
If fire fighters fight fires, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear seatbelts?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within 5 kilometers of home, then why doesn’t everyone just move 5 k’s away?
If a black box flight recorder is never damaged in a plane crash, why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why are psychics still working if they all know the winning lottery numbers?
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
Employee Memo - Discipline Policy
2 February 2009In an effort to streamline the discipline process, management has drawn up a formal policy that will go into effect immediately. The policy is based on demerits, accumulation of which will determine what level of punishment is required.
Demerits will be tallied one at a time, except in extreme situations. Each demerit will stay on record for thirty days. Demerits may be removed by the employee’s supervisor if the employee performs in a sufficiently productive and beneficial manner. Demerits cannot be removed by a supervisor not in the direct chain of command above a given employee.
Punishments for each subsequent demerit will be as follows:
1 demerits – A warning will be issued. Warnings will only be issued if the employee’s demerit count is at zero before receiving the new demerit.
2 demerits – The employee must write a 300 word essay expressing why they were wrong. They will also include a detailed apology to the company, their supervisor, and anyone else whom may have been effective by their transgression.
3 demerits – The employee will sit on time out stool located in their break room. The amount of time will be determined by their supervisor, not to exceed four hours, and more than ten minutes. Time on the stool will count against breaks.
4 demerits – Employee must stay after work for detention. Employee’s who have reached detention status will be flagged by security and will not be permitted to leave until detention is completed.
5 demerits – Employee will immediately report to Cletus Heddrick for flogging.
6 demerits – If employee reaches six demerits, they will be deemed unsuitable and their employment will be terminated. They will also forfeit unemployment compensation, and any future paychecks.
Your cooperation on this matter will be appreciated. If you have any questions about the new policy, feel free to ask your supervisor.
Regards,
Management
A very Useful Tool
30 January 2009This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 7 inches long. The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is quickly inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometime quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What is it?
As you may have already guessed, the answer to the riddle is none other
than your very own…. toothbrush.
Let’s Visit Crapstone England
29 January 2009CRAPSTONE, England — When ordering things by telephone, Stewart Pearce tends to take a proactive approach to the inevitable question “What is your address?”
He lays it out straight, so there is no room for unpleasant confusion. “I say, ‘It’s spelled “crap,” as in crap,’ ” said Mr. Pearce, 61, who has lived in Crapstone, a one-shop country village in Devon, for decades.
Read Full Story at NYTimes.com
